You can see and experience some pretty bad things at festivals, but you can guarantee your stories pale in comparison to those of the medical staff working in the paramedic tent – if you’ve ever been unlucky enough to wind up in one at the end of the night, you’d definitely know what we’re talking about.

From assisting punters burnt by wild flares, huge crowds struck by lightning and bands narrowly escaping stage collapses, festival paramedics certainly have one of the tougher gigs on the circuit.

Proving this point, top Queensland paramedic Malcolm Moss has spoken to Courier Mail, telling some of the common and not-so-common injuries he’s had to manage across his eight-and-a-half year career.

Mr Moss reveals that paramedics have just about seen it all, and that these unsung heroes could probably have their own Cops-esque reality series.

“When it comes to moshing, some have ended up with stilettos stuck to their faces,” says the Queensland Ambulance Service Gold Coast acting operations supervisor

“We see a lot of people with dance fractures — broken ankles are a big one. A lot of people don’t protect their feet and tend to stand on plastic cups, glass bottles or aluminium cans which leads to infections.” “When it comes to moshing, some have ended up with stilettos stuck to their faces…”

Other strange harm has been caused in the bold cross-section between rockers and ravers. “People get hit in the head and eyes by glow sticks frequently and when it comes to moshing,” he says.

Unsurprisingly, Mr Moss commented that alcohol and other illicit substances are always a big player when it comes to a festival’s ending injury toll, with the more common festival ailments being fatigue, dehydration and heat-related illnesses.

“Alcohol intoxication is up there causing injuries at festivals… Once they mix alcohol and energy drinks things can get out of hand,” Mr Moss said, warning: “A lot of festivals are done in summer and people make the choice to consume alcohol and don’t drink enough water.”

Amongst the many alcohol-related accidents, Mr Moss told that medical teams “see broken hands when people have consumed too much alcohol, or when they have passed out on an outstretched arm.” However, despite the nightmare stories, Mr Moss said that the large number of punters he encounters tend to be complacent.

Importantly, the experienced paramedic also offered some much-needed advice to music fans planning on attending one of the many upcoming festivals on our shores. “We encourage people to look after themselves and wear sunscreen,” he said, adding: “We say to keep away from illegal substances.”

“We tell people all the time that thongs look better on their feet than their elbows when doing the robot dance. And people don’t wear sunglasses then they end up staring at the sun which causes eye strain or vertigo-like symptoms which can lead to terrible falls.”

On top of Mr Moss’ words of wisdom, a great general rule of thumb to avoid getting yourself into trouble at a festival is to follow Aunty Meredith’s patented ‘No D!ckhe@d’ policy. Do that, and the rest shall follow.

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