With all the buzz that 2014’s insane Splendour In The Grass has generated over the past few days, even from the performing artists themselves, it’s safe to say that music festivals are definitely once again at the forefront of Aussie’s minds.
It’s true, there’s only one month left of winter and then our fair nation is blessed with months upon months of glorious outdoor music festivities that’ll leave us sunburnt and broke, yet begging for more.
We here at Tone Deaf are absolutely no exception to such excitements, already romancing what music festivals we’re desperate to check out as the days become warmer, which led to a very interesting discussion point: what could make Aussie music festivals even better?
After much deliberation, including horror festival toilet stories to brilliant technology innovations, we’ve compiled a wishlist of ten things that we believe would take Australia’s festival experience to the next level, addressing those common pet peeves and bugbears we all have in the process.
No More Clashes!
There’s no better feeling when a music festival line-up drops and it’s littered with multiple artists that you’ve been dying to see, until the reality of set-times are released, and your favourite and second favourite bands are actually playing at the exact same time (not pointing any fingers, Laneway Festival 2014.) So what if there was a way to avoid such clashes?
Straight up many of you are cheering the reigning champion of Aussie music festivals, Meredith and Golden Plains, as the organisers strictly use The ‘Sup’s single stage, but what say of those music festivals with multiple stages? The simple solution: staggered set times.
Current music festivals like Poland’s best kept secret, OFF, in the city of Katowice have long implemented the idea of multiple stages that have non-clashing set times (as pictured above). Despite OFF Festival having five stages, there are only two artists ever performing at one time. On top of this, OFF makes a judgement call, putting two very differing acts on at the same time. Sounds pretty bloody good, right?
Phone Charging Power Stations
Whether you want to admit it or not, having a dead mobile at a music festival, especially those that span over a few nights, is incredibly painful. It’s a little bit too precious to expect festivals to provide power generators for such things, so how about instead working together as a festival community and generating your own power?
Let us introduce you to cycle powered generators. That’s right, by jumping on a stationary two-wheeled push-bike, you can pedal out last night’s rotten hangover and release some exercise endorphins whilst you power a generator that allows you to charge your smartphone. In fact, these pedal stations produce so much electricity that they can power stages or even entire music festivals.
Forgot Your Tent Or Sleeping Bag? Don’t Worry, You Can Get It There
We’ve all done this once in our lives. Car is packed and the stoked levels are high as you pull up to your camping ground, only to find you’ve forgotten the essentials. Driving back home would take hours and your mates can’t help you out. Life over, right? Wrong.
We think Aussie music festivals all need a fully equipped supply store. We’re talking about a place where you can buy or rent a tent, fold-out chairs, sleeping bags, raincoats, gum boots, eskies – those kinds of necessities that aren’t on offer at your standard camping festivals.
The Europeans seem to have this idea down-pat, with the electronic dominated Croatian festival, Dimensions, having stores setup in the camping grounds where any punter can pick purchase almost anything camping related, and not at a disgustingly inflated price either.
Can’t Find Your Friends Or Campsite? An App Will Fix That!
No matter if you’re wasted or stone-cold sober, it can be very easy to lose your mates or find your tent at a music festival. Giant flags, certain coloured trees, and signposts can only do so much, so how do we save ourselves from the people labyrinth? It’s 2014, so of course, there’s an app for that.
Introducing the “Victorinox Festival Ready” smartphone application. This incredibly useful app has a geo-tagging feature that allows you to pinpoint exactly where your tent, or any other distinguishable area that you and your friends frequent is within the festival grounds.
On top of such a life-saving function, this badboy comes equipped with just about everything you need for a festival including a packing checklist, weather forecasts, and emergency medical instructions.
If any of you are clever enough to build your own apps, we’d suggest a slight tweaking to include the ability to connect with other friends to share your location, custom maps, and group chat. Onward and upward, innovators!
From Now On, Everyone Can See The Stage
Oh the pain of paying squillions of bucks to go to a music festival, only to watch the back of every taller punter’s head. This is a definite buzz kill that can seriously destroy the vibe of copious amounts of festival-goers, there’s gotta be some sort of easy fix, right?
Well, we can’t believe we’re saying this, but why not take a leaf out of U2’s book and design a 360 stage? The Irish superstars have proven that there’s definitely more space to be worked than just the front of you standar-issue, one-sided stage.
They aren’t the only ones, with Finland’s Flow Festival having created a smaller scaled 360 degree stage, providing plenty more scope to actually see the bands you are there to support. Sure it might not work for the headliners at the main stages (crowd crush imminent), but this could truly revolutionise the live music experience at festivals for both artists and patrons at the mid to lower-tiered range.
Super Comfort = Happy Campers
There’s no denying that the idea of camping definitely sends many people into a downward spiral of anxiety. Sleeping in a dilapidated tent that is typically way too hot or way too cold can definitely get a little too much.
Following the lead of Philip Island’s brand-spanking New Years music festival Beyond The Valley, we think there should be more “creature comfort” options made available at our music festivals.
There’s so many ideas that we’ve entertained, obviously for those with the fattest of wallets, the notion of “Glamping” (glamorous camping for you n00bs) sees you in luxury with hotel styled tents that are equipped with actual beds, personal restrooms and showers, and even round the clock security. Nice.
If that sounds a little too farfetched, we’ve found a much more simple option, sleeping capsules. Stacked like honeycomb, these pods are so simple, including room for you to cram your bags and a nice big cosy kingsize bed to curl up in after a solid day and night of partying. If you’ve ever travelled to Japan, you know why this is a simple, cost-effective solution to festival woes.
Pre-Book Your Camping Spot
Okay, on the topic of camping, how stressful is the desperate scramble to make sure not only you, but all of your friends are up at the crack of dawn and arriving at the gates before the sun rises to ensure you lock in a half-decent camping location together?
This time we borrow from the genius of one of the world’s largest and greatest music festivals, Glastonbury. The English festival allows punters to pre-book their exact camping location (even with pre-erected tents) albeit at a price, completely quashing the madness of trying to orchestrate the ultimate accommodation site for you and your entire crew.
Sure, it might take the spontaneity out of things but if you’re willing to pay top dollar for top real estate shouldn’t it be an option? We picture something like ticket agency’s seat allocation – but with prime plots of camping ground instead of seats.
Electronic Wristbands To Make Everything Easier
Don’t even get us started on the ridiculousness of drink tickets at music festivals. Nobody should have to wait in two lines to buy one drink, period. And what about the fear of carrying hundreds of dollars around the whole festival, lose that wallet and you’re definitely up shit creek.
In following the innovation of events abroad once again, we suggest the introduction of RFID (Radio Frequency Identification) microchips that have been popularised across Europe. As well as being rid of dreaded drink tokens, there’s also the ability to load money onto your arm band, letting punters scan their chipped bracelets – topped up with credit – to buy drinks or food without having to use a single note.
Because we’re a forward-thinking bunch, a festival providing such technologies should have a smart phone app that allows armband users to check their balance, as well as a quick, easy top-up format to ensure you never run out of booze and tucker funds. Dangerous for the bank account, but not for your patience in the queues.
Beer That Comes To You!
Let’s make this abundantly clear, the next suggestion has nothing to do with laziness. How many times have you downed your last bev mid-way through a set, desperate for another but so deep in the crowd that you know if you leave you’ll not only lose your spot, but more than likely miss one of the anthems you came out for? This happens, but do we have a helluva remedy: the beer man.
This isn’t some starry-eyed invention that we’ve concocted within the office, no no, this wondrous phenomenon already exists at music festivities across the globe. Take Berlin Music Fest for example. The festival have designated workers that strap on a backpack of deliciously cold beer, a shit load of cups and a tap, wandering through the crowd topping any thirsty punter up for the exact same price as the bar themselves.
All we need is toilets that come to you and we’d never have to leave the stage…
Toilets That Aren’t Shit
We’re more than sure that this would be at the top of every punter’s list because let’s face it – the state of festival cubicles after even an hour after gates open is revolting. For guys, it’s not so bad, but for the ladies, well, it’s hard out there. We’ve explored the mathematic secret to find the cleanest bathroom, however surely more can be done.
The Austin City Limits music festival have definitely heard this cry for help, introducing the “Golden PortaPotty” which resembles a throne room out of Versailles – complete with luxury amenities. This lavish experience however is only set out for a very limited number of concert goers, via a competition, leaving the rest of us to brave the harsh Trainspotting-esque conditions for the duration of our festival stay.
We propose this thought – how would one feel about paying per use for your toilets, so long as you were assured of cleanliness and more toilet paper than you could ever need? International festivals implement this idea and it works a treat. Having experienced how much nicer it is to pay $1.00 for sanitary conditions, this would be a simple, yet brilliant addition to Aussie music festivals.
