Many Aussies across the country woke up yesterday to the welcome announcement of next years’ Laneway Festival lineup, which featured a smorgasbord of indie delights such as Royal Blood, SOHN, St Vincent, and more.

But according to one Aussie muso, organisers forgot to add a name to the lineup, his own, and now he wants them to pay for it.

“I noticed with your announcement of the 2015 line up i’m not headlining the festival anymore?” wrote Sydney’s SPOD in a hilarious open letter to the organisers of Laneway via Music Feeds, with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek. “Did I blow it with yesterdays hint? Did I let the cat out of the bag too early?”

“Gotta say, kinda regretting our 5 breakfast meetings & evening cocktails at the Shangri La now, seeing as I footed the bill,” he continues.

“Don’t get me wrong, i’m ready to invest hard earned cash into my brand, but from our handshake deal back then till now, I thought it was a gentleman’s deal, signed & sealed.”

“Of course, I respect anyones business needs, but I paid for those meetings in good faith for your support & one of the elements of the contracts I got you all to sign was that if by your hand I didn’t get to play Laneway Festival in 2015 was that I’d be reimbursed.”

So how much did SPOD spend on these alleged business dealings? Exactly $26,693.92 which he is now claiming from the festival.

“In good faith heres my invoice for the breakfasts, cocktails, an unannounced extra guest, 2 diamond martinis & accommodations totalling $26693.9,” he writes. “Thanks and i’ll see you on stage next year?”

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Included in SPOD’s invoice are bottomless top quality buffets at the Shangri La Hotel, 100 hand picked rock oysters, Wagyu tartar, plus an extra $421 for that pesky uninvited guest, none other than Triple J music director Richard Kingsmill.

Kingsmill and Laneway promoter Danny Rogers also racked up an extra $20,000 by ordering two ‘Martini On The Rock’ which include ultra premium gin ‘Diamond Martini’s that include 1 actual diamond each’, plus a nights accommodation @ $10,000 each.

The invoice also outlines the terms discussed at their breakfast meetings including that SPOD would headline every show on a hovering pontoon that was designed like a big cloud that constantly rained, and that he would nbe allow 10 special guests including, but not restricted to Marcia Hynbes, Flume, Chet Faker, 360, and Sean Penn.

He also would have appreciated no eye contact 9 hours before the performance, would get a free iPhone 6+ with full applecare, and would be called ‘Sir’ by any staff younger than him, and ‘mate’ by any older staff. Danny Rogers was also organised to introduce SPOD on stage as the highlight of the Laneway Festivals short lifespan, apologising for previous omissions.

Oh, and Kanye set would not be invited to play at the festival.

Just to make sure there can be no discrepancies, SPOD also provided organisers with a link to the Shangri La’s menu so they could accurately cross check his costings. As for Laneway, they too took to Twitter to address the issue, tweeting “legend. Gold!”. Payment at this stage is still pending.

In the meantime, you can check out the Laneway Lineup in its current form over here, and if it tickles your fancy then the official Visa presale begins next week.

Laneway Festival 2015 Dates & Tickets

Pre-sale: Laneway Festival fans with Visa Credit, Debit or Prepaid cards can get tickets first through Visa Entertainment. Visa Entertainment pre­sale starts 12 noon Wednesday 8 October through to 12 noon Thursday 9 October (local time) or until tickets sell out atwww.visaentertainment.com.au.

Visa presale: Noon, Wednesday 8 October – Noon, Thursday 9 October (local time)
GP on sale: Monday 13 October, 9am (local time)

SINGAPORE: SATURDAY 24 JANUARY
THE MEADOW, GARDENS BY THE BAY

AUCKLAND: MONDAY 26 JANUARY
SILO PARK

BRISBANE: SATURDAY 31 JANUARY
BRISBANE SHOWGROUNDS, BOWEN HILLS (16+)

SYDNEY: SUNDAY 1 FEBRUARY
SYDNEY COLLEGE OF THE ARTS (SCA), ROZELLE *Subject to DA approval

ADELAIDE: FRIDAY 6 FEBRUARY
HARTS MILL, PORT ADELAIDE (16+)

MELBOURNE: SATURDAY 7 FEBRUARY
FOOTSCRAY COMMUNITY ARTS CENTRE (FCAC) AND THE RIVER’S EDGE

FREMANTLE: SUNDAY 8 FEBRUARY
ESPLANADE RESERVE AND WEST END

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