LMFAO’s Redfoo is facing a massive online backlash to the content of his latest collaboration, a charming dispatch titled ‘Literally I Can’t’, on which he’s joined by Play-N-Skillz, who helms the track, Lil Jon, and Enertia McFly. If you’re not yet familiar with the single, here’s an excerpt of the lyrics: “Girl, I’m sipping on this drink / Trying to see what you’re about / Not trying to hear what you think“.

It’s such profundities, paired with a music video that looks like a Lynx ad directed by Terry Richardson and edited by an ice addict, that led The Fix to declare a blanket ban on the bespectacled “party rocker”. As Fix‘s Amy Nelmes writes, “We’ve pulled the plug on you. From now on, The Fix will merely say ‘Red who?’ when we hear your name.”

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But the bearded X-Factor judge at the centre of all the controversy is simply shrugging his shoulders. “Another example of critics victimizing an artist by purposely misinterpreting his/her work to support a pre-existing agenda,” he weighed in on Twitter. So… he’s the victim. Right.

Sadly, it seems it may take an army of leopard-printed, shuffling bozos to close the floodgates on Redfoo’s absurd righteous indignation, because his hashtag-laden tweets didn’t stop there. “Fact #1,” he opened, “The word ‘slut’ never appears in the lyrics of ‘Literally I Can’t’.”

Got it? The word ‘slut’ never appeared in the lyrics of the song, even if some writer said that it did. It didn’t, okay? So, it’s totally fine that he said, “Shhh… I said jump on the pole, I didn’t need your opinion“.

Besides, there’s a second fact that you may not be privy to, “I love & respect women and feel they are the most powerful people on this planet!” Really, it should be obvious to anyone. Lines like, “A shot of vodka? Tequila? Wanna dance? Where your friends? Girl on girl?“, are positively dripping with love and respect.

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But the gaudy glassing victim didn’t stop dropping knowledge bombs. As far as he’s concerned, “Play-N-Skillz, Lil Jon, Enertia McFly, and I made a comical party song to satirize the cliche ‘Literally I Can’t’. Some get it, some don’t.” We’re not all that clear on the definition of satire ourselves, but, um, this isn’t it.

And it’s not just Redfoo who’s copping the backlash. As you can see below, most of the “artists” featured on the track have taken to Twitter to defend its watertight integrity. “Some people make life so serious that I don’t think they have room to laugh and joke anymore. Don’t make life hard it’s already hard enough,” wrote Enertia McFly, a.k.a. some rapper you’d never heard of until now.

Don’t bother sending McFly any hate of your own though: “I just refuse to pay attention to childish people who like to take things out of context.” You can check out the maturity of ‘I Can’t Even’, fully in context, below.

Update 13/11/14: A local Aussie band have parodied the video, and it’s much, much better.

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