Unless you’re a Henry David Thoreau-like minimalist who lives in a cabin detached from the rest of society, or y’know, one of those creepy doomsday preppers, you’re likely more than familiar with what it’s like to be woken in the early hours of the morning by noisy neighbours blaring egregiously loud music from their domicile.
This is particularly true if you live in an apartment, where there is almost no escape from your fellow residents’ insensitivity, which can lead to great animosity towards them. This vitriol can often manifest itself in hastily written, expletive-filled, occasionally threatening notes taped to doors.
However, if you wish to inform your neighbours that their sound levels are not quite to your taste and request they lower them to a reasonable volume, you might want to take a cue from this unnamed Sydney resident, whose note to his noisy neighbours is one of the best things we’ve read all year.
[include_post id=”392244″]
“Dear Good-time Neighbours,” opens the note, which has gone viral after being shared on Reddit. “You know who you are. The ones with the apartment facing the lightwell, who played Daft Punk’s delightful 2013 anthem ‘Lose Yourself to Dance’ at 5:17am this morning, windows wide open.”
“As I was awakened by Pharrell Williams’ dulcet tones, Nile Rodgers’ signature rhythm guitar and the on-point (although highly derivative) production of Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter, I was torn,” he continues.
“On the one hand, I thought to myself, ‘Maybe we’re about to be taken on [a] journey through Daft Punk’s back catalogue in reverse chronological order? Will ‘Around the World’ be up next? Will we trip the light fantastic past ‘Da Funk’ and round it out with ‘Rollin’ and Scratchin’?”
“On the other hand, I thought to myself, ‘Maybe these inconsiderate assholes could display the modicum of consideration for their neighbours, recognise that most of the building is asleep at this time, lay off the pingers and shut their fucking windows.’”
[include_post id=”371272″]
“By all means kick on till your hearts’ content. But please do so with your windows closed and the music set at a volume that is not going to wake the rest of the building. Warmest personal regards, Your fellow neighbours,” he concludes. Genius.
And we’re not the only ones who think so. The man’s note is getting plenty of love online. “This is not a ‘cranky’ neighbour,” writes one Reddit user. “This is a neighbor that is tired of hearing your shit excuse for musical taste at 5am.”
“NO ONE should be subjected to hearing anything that loud at that ungodly hour, and if you are one of those inconsiderate bastards, I hope you lose your hearing before you are old enough to realize it.” While we at Tone Deaf would never wish bodily harm on anyone, he’s right.
