It’s not exactly news that everyone in the music industry is struggling. No matter who you look at, from artists, to festival promoters, everyone is looking for new and innovative ways to try and turn a buck. Even the old major label edifices are exploring new avenues to ameliorate thinning profit margins.
Even the humble music writer is a threatened species, with the proliferation of the internet significantly devaluing the worth of pop culture scribes in the marketplace. While anyone will tell you that music writers were never raking in the big bucks, it’s now harder than ever to chase that particular passion.
While we at Tone Deaf are normally supportive of any creative’s attempt and prospering from their craft in an increasingly apathetic cultural landscape, we’re not exactly sure if music writer Zachary Houle is going about things the right way, in fact we’re almost certain he’s not.
Houle, a self-described expert in music and the Canadian Music Editor at PopMatters since 2010, has launched an Indiegogo campaign with the hopes of lending out his expertise for varying sums. And who’s supplying the varying sums? The very struggling artists and bands we just descibred.
As Noisey reports, for $25, you get the luxury of asking Houle five questions via email, which he will then answer with “five thoughtful answers in return”. For just $50, you can get together with Houle “in a downtown Ottawa coffee shop (I’ll consider a phone call, too) for a free coffee, and a one hour consultation on the importance of your online presence, bio, a good press kit and anything else you’d like to yak about”.
If you’re already familiar with the internet and how it can be used to share your music (if you’re not, we highly recommend you start reading Tone Deaf more regularly), for the same price, Houle will help you name your band or project. If that’s already sorted, he’ll help name your album.
While this is all plenty helpful, if you want Houle to actually listen to your music, you’ll have to start forking out three figures. For $100, Houle will check out one of your live performances and “tell you what I think of your act as a live draw, so long as I’m on the guest list”.
If you’d rather get his opinion on your recorded output, just send him a digital copy of your album and he’ll listen to it in its entirety exactly three times. Of course, this process will cost you somewhere between $100-$300, depending on how short you’ve managed to make the record.
Meanwhile, if you’re in desperate need of a biography or a press release, Houle will write one for just $800 or both for $1,400 (did we mention how musicians are struggling to make a single dollar these days?). However, his talents also extend to lyric writing, which he will do for just $1,250.
“You don’t have to credit me and I’ll consider waving royalties,” Houle writes, “but if you like GbV out there lyrics, I can do that. Ten songs for this price.” Ten songs for only $1,250? Why that’s just $125 per song. Any self-respecting musician would be crazy to pass this deal up.
