One of Australia’s favourite hiphop mainstays, the Funkoars, kicked off their epic Below Average national tour just last week, charming fans in both Brisbane and Coolongatta, the troupe now staring down the barrel of nine more shows around the country.
We’ve been pretty damn excited for the massive tour, and in the build up have not stopped spinning not only one, but both the mixtapes of “Aussie hiphoppers you should all know” curated by the the talented trio.
With the Beyond Average tour well and truly on its way, we felt it was high time to have a fun chat with the guys, in specific, Hons, about his below average moments since he’s been creating music with the Funkoars, which as y’all can imagine – provided some classic responses.
From trainwreck gigs to trouble with nasty cops, to getting too wasted and waking up with whopping damage to a hotel spa to easily the most below average moment ever, join us as Hons takes us through his most below average (and hilarious) moments:
Gig: Performing To 8 People
“One. And it was a long, long time ago – I think it was a Nokia sponsored event in like 2001. I can’t remember what it was called but it was in Melbourne, they had a massive bill – there was so many people playing it, like 10 – 20 acts, at The Metro.
[include_post id=”443168″]We rocked up and I think there was eight people there, I think those eight people where the people playing and they were just playing first, it was a really good bill, it was like everybody that was doing stuff back then.
We were just freestyling a set, there was some drumkits set up so I learned how to play drums, on the stage, we ended up getting absolutely hammered and played all in the corner.
Saying it was below average, it was actually a pretty fun night. For anyone that was watching us would have thought it was the most below average thing they’d ever seen – but for us, probably was one of our better nights.”
Accommodation: Spa Bath Of Tea & Coffee
“We got a huge hotel bill because we thought it was a good idea to have the after party in our room.
I remember there being big foot tags in the elevator, and there was a spa and in the morning when we woke up all the pillows were in there. Someone had emptied the tea bags and coffee in there, so there was this warm, massive soup of tea, coffee and all the couch pillows. The manger walked in in the morning and he stepped on broken glass and everyone just woke up. Definitely below average for the hotel we stayed in and we’re probably not allowed to stay in again.
I think everyone took all of their excitement from the nine people in the crowd and took to the hotel room.”
Festival Experience: Jerky Cops
“We were leaving a festival and there was a smell of weed and a bit of smoke, so a breatho pulled us over.
The cop came and there was nothing in the van at all but we ended up on the side of the road for two and a half hours, he was like “no, no, I’m getting you guys”. I think he found a roach or something, and it was just like “wow, this guy is going so insane over it.”
The whole experience of this, if you ever listen to one of Drapht’s albums, there’s a whole song about it on there, it was just hilarious man, but it was a definitely below average two and a half hours on the side of the road just getting blasted by the cops.
It was just one cop, it was his mission to brings us down, we even had the other cops that were like “I’m sorry about this guys, he’s just got a trip.”
Fan Interaction: Hecklers Beware
“There was a weird one that sticks out, it was at a rave festival where some chick was just off her face and had these wings on and was just like yelling at Sesta. He just replied with something so off the cuff and classic it just owned her, she wouldn’t have stopped, it was just one of the funniest moments I’ve had on stage.
It wasn’t even mean it was just really witty and smart. Our fans are great, they don’t drop me when I stage dive, I’ve put on a few kilos though, all those puffy dogs.”
Meal: Burnt Puffy Dogs, Anyone?
“We cook ‘em all the time. We’d been staying in this place in Brisbane, downstairs there’s a Coles and we’re like “we’re in a studio apartment, we’ll just cook our own food” and it just ended up being puffy dogs, burnt puffy dogs, with chips and then a couple of bottles of vodka.
We try to cook real food but it’s like we’ve gone ten years back in time living in our early ‘20s again.
Sesta is actually really good at cooking, but me and Trials are so bad, it really is below average, for men of our age we should have learnt some skills by now.”
Job: The Most Mundane Hell Hole Ever
“I worked this factory when I was 17 years-old, Schefenacker,I think it was making car parts or mirrors for cars or something?
[include_post id=”446506”] It seemed to be the place where everyone from where we grew up worked. Someone has always worked at this place. I’m pretty sure Debris from Hilltop Hoods has worked there, guys from Cross Bred Mongrels, there’s at least six or seven rappers that have all worked there and it was the most mundane hell hole ever.
It was the most draining thing, literally on the factory line hour after hour, trying to beat your last record to make the day go quicker, it was one of the worst things I’ve ever done. I think I lasted about four months. I just couldn’t handle it anymore.”
The Most Below Average Moment Ever: Busted By Centrelink
“It actually ties into the last one, the reason I got this job in the first place is that we were doing a tour of universities, mid 2006-7, I was actually at Uni at the time.
I didn’t go to uni enough that I got caught by Centrelink not going to and had to pay back a debt, because I was doing shows at different unis, for another job, and then my whole tour pay went back to paying Centrelink, and then I started working here at my current job.
That’s been the last seven years, that was definitely a below average moment because back then I didn’t have a job or much responsibility, just doing a bit of music and then since that I have sort have been stuck.
That was definitely a below average moment, when I got that letter in the post, that sucked, on the blacklist from Centrelink.”
AUSTRALIAN TOUR DATES
w/DJ Total Eclipse, MC Mathas, Eloji
Friday, 8th May 2015
The Tbc Club, Fortitude Valley
Tickets: Funkoars
Saturday, 9th May 2015
Coolangatta Hotel, Coolangatta
Tickets: Funkoars
Wednesday, 13th May 2015
Transit Bar, Canberra
Tickets: Funkoars
Thursday, 14th May 2015
Workers Club, Melbourne
Tickets: Funkoars
Friday, 15th May 2015
Workers Club, Melbourne
Tickets: Funkoars
Saturday, 16th May 2015
Republic Bar, Hobart
Tickets: Funkoars
Friday, 22nd May 2015
Cambridge Hotel, Newcastle
Tickets: Funkoars
Saturday, 23rd May 2015
Basement, Sydney
Tickets: Funkoars
Friday, 29th May 2015
Prince Of Wales, Bunbury
Tickets: Funkoars
Saturday, 30th May 2015
Amplifier Bar, Perth
Tickets: Funkoars
Friday, 12th June 2015
The Gov, Adelaide (AA)
Tickets: Funkoars
