Ladies and gentlemen, there’s something going on in the Jack White camp. We’re not exactly sure what, but it’s certainly beginning to concern us and it certainly seems to be concerning White’s own people, because they’ve just issued a rather lengthy public statement.

See, White recently participated in an online Q&A session with members of the Third Man Records Vault, an online community built around the former White Stripes frontman’s iconic Nashville-based record label, and some of the answers he gave were a little perturbing.

White answered questions about his relationship with former White Stripes bandmate Meg White, his plans for future touring (or lack thereof), his hatred of click-bait headlines, and of course, his close affiliation with Tidal, Jay Z’s controversial streaming platform.

The rocker indicated that a White Stripes reunion was out of the question because his former bandmate “doesn’t answer her phone”. He also admitted that he hates festivals and would “rather not play” them, whilst wondering if another full scale tour “is worth it”.

In a particularly unsettling moment, White was asked, “What is something we might not know about you?” and responded, “That I don’t belong here, and most of the time [it’s] torture trying to find reasons to stay.” Whoa, dude.

What’s more, the recent Q&A came after another rather contentious chat session specifically regarding Tidal, during which White defended the service from accusations of “elitism”, and after the publication of a cryptic poem White wrote, which many presumed was about Tidal.

Sensing more click-bait headlines brewing, Third Man Records have decided to nip the whole thing in the bud and issued a statement via Facebook as part of an attempt to clear up some of the misconceptions regarding the big man’s answers during this weekend’s Q&A.

“Friends, family, journalists, naysayers, believers, tweeter & ‘grammers… I know we’ve all enjoyed our game of click bait bingo with Jack White this past year,” the statement opens. “Freeze Frame Cubs Games, Tour Manager Guacamole recipes, Tidal, Poetry as Product Placement… whatever it is.”

Regarding Meg White, the statement clarifies that the drummer “doesn’t have to answer her phone”, adding, “He’s not even complaining about that nor is it depressing. The White Stripes is over and it’s been said a hundred times, and maybe that’s just the quickest way for him to answer that question he gets asked a dozen times a day.”

Earlier this year, it was announced that White would be “taking a break from performing live for a long period of time”, and the statement addressed this news, as well as comments during the Q&A, which seemingly indicated that White wished to quit touring altogether.

“Never touring again – He never said that, but he IS taking a long break from the road (which was previously announced and discussed drama free over a month ago),” the statement reads. “He said he’d like to do acoustic shows in sit down venues and electric shows in standing venues.”

“He said he doesn’t like festivals but hey, he does them anyway and he makes them work… He is not quitting music. He’s working with the Dead Weather next week, he’s involved in several projects we’re not even gonna tell you about right now cause we don’t want to ruin the surprise.”

As for that much talked-about piece of verse that will be known henceforth as “that poem”, apparently that’s “part of a larger idea that has nothing to do with music streaming and more to do with our ongoing efforts spread the love language, music and equal respect for all modes of art”.

“Lastly, Jack is a guy who just did a tour charging $3 for a ticket price. How are we getting him mixed up with someone who’s ‘just in it for the money’? Everything we do at Third Man is a bad business move! But we do it because we love, music, and art and making new beautiful things exist that previously did not.”

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Oh, and as for that disturbing “I don’t belong here” statement, apparently that was said in regards to his participation in the chat room and not in regards to, y’know, his participation in life or something. Uh, okay, let’s hope so.

Well, that all seems well and good, and if readers need further clarification, they can check out the full statement below. There’s just one issue with the whole thing: who wrote this statement? We know it was Third Man Records, but we thought White was Third Man Records.

After all, it’s his label, which he founded, right? Why is the label he owns out clarifying his comments the way a Hollywood publicist does when an actor says something silly during a promotional press junket? What the hell is going on with Jack White right now?

Whatever it is, it’s certainly not thwarting his creative powers. Over the past 12 months, he’s dropped his sophomore solo record, released fresh material with The Dead Weather, constructed the sickest gig poster ever, celebrated Record Store Day the way only he can, and he’s even got a TV show coming out.

If anything, it sounds like he may be a little burnt out. Sounds like a long break from touring is the right thing for Jack White, even though it means we don’t get to see him tour Lazaretto here in Australia. Regardless, call us Jack, we need to talk, we’re worried about you.

JACK WHITE CLICK BAIT BINGO EXHAUSTIONFrom the desk of The Third Man Council For Internet Regulation and Journalistic…

Posted by Third Man Records on Tuesday, May 26, 2015

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