It’s time to batten down the hatches, people, we’ve just reached peak irony and peak hipsterdom. Because irony always sells, a new music festival has been just been announced with a lineup populated entirely by ’90s nostalgia acts.

No, we’re not making this up. As Stereogum reports, this September, the world’s most famous hipster enclave, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, will play host to the inaugural 90s Fest, filled with artists, celebrities, and products you thought you’d never see again.

The musical entertainment set for the day includes Smash Mouth (who’ll hopefully feel less crumby), Coolio, Lisa Loeb, Naughty By Nature, Tonic, the surviving members of Blind Melon, and a cover band called Saved By The 90s. Playing emcee will be Pauly Shore, star of some of the worst movies of any decade.

According to Billboard, other activities planned for the day include giveaways from Seinfeld-inspired Instagram personality FuckJerry, a 90s-themed bedroom hosted by social media star Betches, a Mario Kart tournament, and an attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the largest Macarena ever.

Producer Marc Weinstein even told Billboard that organisers might offer Crystal Pepsi-based cocktails to VIP guests. For those who were too young to remember, Crystal Pepsi is one of the biggest failures in the history of soft drinks.

If you’re the type of person who loves reading ‘You know you’re a 90s kid when…’ lists on BuzzFeed and still have your Tamagotchi stashed in your bedroom somewhere, tickets for 90s Fest are on sale now and range from $60-85 for general admission and $100-150 for VIP.

And just before you go idealising the whole concept, organisers recently revealed to the AV Club that 90s Fest is less about letting punters travel back in time for a day than it is about giving them an “opportunity to interact with… brands”. Sounds like fun.

Look, don’t get us wrong, we’re all 90s kids here at Tone Deaf, but listening to a live performance of the Reality Bites soundtrack as we sip a cocktail that tastes like doo-doo and field giveaways from someone who’s Instagram famous isn’t our idea of fun.

As Paper Mag recently noted, we’re reaching a point where we can’t discern what is a genuine love of old entertainment and products, what’s shrouded in hipster irony, and what’s just another way to sell stuff. Our reaction to 90s Fest isn’t nostalgia, it’s confusion.

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