We’d give you an in-depth, minute-by-minute breakdown of what transpired at last night’s ARIA Awards, but we can basically boil it down to Flumey Flume Flume Flume-ing all over everything. In other words, it was Flume’s night.

The EDM young gun picked up a total of four awards, including Best Male Artist, Album of the Year, and Best Dance Release and Best Pop Release for ‘Never Be Like You’. It’s the end of quite possibly the biggest year in his career.

But make no mistake, Flume wasn’t the only one having a big night. Violent Soho managed to pick up their share of pointy statues, as did King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard, Montaigne, Sia, Drapht, Bernard Fanning, and many more.

We also got to witness a very respectable live entertainment lineup, with performances from Soho, John Farnham, and more. But with all that said, we still have a few unanswered questions about last night’s ceremony…

Why was a celebration of Aussie music held at The Star casino?

Um, is it just us or is it a tad awkward holding an awards ceremony honouring the best in Australian music, including an award for Best Australian Live Act, inside of Sydney’s Star Casino? Y’know, the one that stands as Sydney’s most violent venue and a symbol of the NSW government’s total disregard for local arts?

Just a thought.

Why do we still do public-voted awards?

Last night saw One Direction win the ARIA Award for Best International Artist for the fifth year running, which just proves that we need to stop letting the public decide these awards. Don’t get us wrong, we have nothing against the public, but these awards are not voted on by the public.

They’re voted on by the fans of each artist and it naturally follows that whoever has the most rabid, social media-savvy fanbase will end up winning. No offence to Troye Sivan, who’s had an absolutely incredible year, but the only reason he didn’t win Best Australian Live Act is because he wasn’t nominated in that category.

Aren’t these awards meant to represent merit and not which artist is the most popular? Otherwise just make one ‘People’s Choice’ gong and take away the categories.

Why was Sarah Blasko picking up an award for Best Adult Alternative?

So let’s just get this straight for a second. What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have, Blasko’s now classic 2006 album was nominated for Best Pop Release. 2009’s As Day Follows Night was nominated for Album of the Year and won Blasko Best Female Artist.

But her latest effort, last year’s Eternal Return, picks up the award for Best Adult Alternative. Sure, there was more synths on the new one, but Blakso really hasn’t changed that much as an artist. Why is she suddenly Adult Contemporary or Alternative or whatever?

What does Montaigne eat?

Hey, fair play to Montaigne. She’s a talented artist who’s had an incredible year and she can talk about whatever she damn well pleases in her ARIA acceptance speech. If that means she wants to discuss her bowel movements, so be it.

The only thing that irked us about her speech was the actual frequency of said bowel movements. “I must remember that for the rest of my life I will probably eject at least three loads out of my butt every week,” she said. Only three times a week!? Get on the Metamucil, Montaigne. Please.

2016 ARIA Awards Winners

Album Of The Year

WINNER: Flume – Skin (Future Classic)
RÜFÜS – Bloom (Sweat It Out/Sony Music)
Sia – This Is Acting (Monkey Puzzle/Inertia)
The Avalanches – Wildflower (Modular/EMI)
Troye Sivan – Blue Neighbourhood (EMI)

Best Male Artist

WINNER: Flume – Skin (Future Classic)
Bernard Fanning – Civil Dusk (Dew Process/Universal Music)
Guy Sebastian – Black & Blue (Sony Music)
Illy – Papercuts (feat. Vera Blue) (Warner Music Australia)
Troye Sivan – Blue Neighbourhood (EMI)

Best Female Artist

WINNER: Sia – This Is Acting (Monkey Puzzle/Inertia)
Delta Goodrem – Wings of the Wild (Sony Music)
Jessica Mauboy – This Ain’t Love (Sony Music)
Montaigne – Glorious Heights (Wonderlick Recording Company)
Sarah Blasko – Eternal Return (EMI)

Best Dance Release

WINNER: Flume – Skin (Future Classic)
Hayden James – Just A Lover (Future Classic)
L D R U – Keeping Score (feat. Paige IV) (Audio Paxx Agency/Sony Music)
RÜFÜS – Bloom (Sweat It Out/Sony Music)
The Avalanches – Wildflower (Modular/EMI)

Best Group

WINNER: Violent Soho – WACO (I Oh You)
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Nonagon Infinity (Flightless Records/Remote Control Records)
RÜFÜS – Bloom (Sweat It Out/Sony Music)
The Avalanches – Wildflower (Modular/EMI)
The Veronicas – In My Blood (Sony Music)

Breakthrough Artist

WINNER: Montaigne – Glorious Heights (Wonderlick Recording Company)
DMA’S – Hills End (I Oh You)
L D R U – Keeping Score (feat. Paige IV) (Audio Paxx Agency/Sony Music)
Olympia – Self Talk (EMI)
Safia – Make Them Wheels Roll (Warner Music Australia/Parlophone)

Best Pop Release

WINNER: Flume – Never Be Like You (feat. Kai) (Future Classic)
Illy – Papercuts (feat. Vera Blue) (Warner Music Australia)
Sia – This Is Acting (Monkey Puzzle/Inertia)
The Veronicas – In My Blood (Sony Music)
Troye Sivan – Blue Neighbourhood (EMI)

Best Urban Album

WINNER: Drapht – Seven Mirrors (The Ayems/Sony Music)
Citizen Kay – With The People (ASP/MGM)
Koi Child – Koi Child (Pilerats Records)
L-FRESH The LION – Become (Elefant Traks/Inertia)
Urthboy – The Past Beats Inside Me Like A Second Heartbeat (Elefant Traks/Inertia)

Best Independent Release

WINNER: Flume – Skin (Future Classic)
Jarryd James – Thirty One (Dryden Street Limited/Universal Music)
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Nonagon Infinity (Flightless Records/Remote Control Records)
Sia – This Is Acting (Monkey Puzzle/Inertia)
Violent Soho – WACO (I Oh You)

Best Rock Album

WINNER: Violent Soho – WACO (I Oh You)
Ball Park Music – Every Night The Same Dream (Stop Start Music)
Boy & Bear – Limit Of Love (Boy & Bear/Universal Music)
Gang Of Youths – Let Me Be Clear (Mosy Recordings/Sony Music)
The Living End – Shift (Dew Process/Universal Music)

Best Hard Rock/Heavy Metal Album

WINNER: King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Nonagon Infinity (Flightless Records/Remote Control Records)
Hellions – Opera Oblivia (UNFD)
Parkway Drive – Ire (Resist/Cooking Vinyl Australia)
The Amity Affliction – This Could Be Heartbreak (Roadrunner Records)
Twelve Foot Ninja – Outlier (Volkanik/MGM)

Best Adult Contemporary Album

WINNER: Bernard Fanning – Civil Dusk (Dew Process/Universal Music)
Bob Evans – Car Boot Sale (EMI)
Paul Kelly – Seven Sonnets & A Song (Gawd Aggie Recordings/Universal Music)
Robert Forster – Songs To Play (EMI)
Tina Arena – Eleven (EMI)

Best Adult Alternative Album

WINNER: Sarah Blasko – Eternal Return (EMI)
Jarryd James – Thirty One (Dryden Street Limited/Universal Music)
Matt Corby – Telluric (Mercury Records Australia/Universal Music)
Peter Garrett – A Version of Now (Sony Music)
The Temper Trap – Thick As Thieves (Liberation Music)

Best Country Album

WINNER: Sara Storer – Silos (ABC Music/Universal Music)
Adam Brand and the Outlaws – Adam Brand and the Outlaws (ABC Music/Universal Music)
Bill Chambers – Cold Trail (Checked Label Services)
Fanny Lumsden – Small Town Big Shot (Social Family Records/Universal Music)
The Wolfe Brothers – This Crazy Life (ABC Music/Universal Music)

Best Blues & Roots Album

WINNER: Russell Morris – Red Dirt Red Heart (Chugg Music/MGM)
Jimmy Barnes – Soul Searchin’ (Liberation Music)
Kev Carmody – Recollections… Reflections… (A Journey) (One Louder Recordings/Universal Music)
The Cat Empire – Rising With The Sun (Two Shoes Records)
The Wilson Pickers – You Can’t Catch Fish From A Train (ABC Music/UMA)

Best Children’s Album

WINNER: The Wiggles – Wiggle Town! (ABC Music/Universal Music)
Justine Clarke – Pyjama Jam! (ABC Music/Universal Music)
Pat Davern – Alexander The Elephant In Zanzibar (ABC Music/Universal Music)
Play School – Famous Friends: Celebrating 50 Years of Play School (ABC Music/Universal Music)
Sam Moran – Play Along With Sam: BEST. DAY. EVER! (6 Degrees Records/MGM)

Best Australian Live Act

WINNER: Hilltop Hoods – The Restrung Tour (Hilltop Hoods/Universal Music)
Courtney Barnett – National Theatre Tour (Milk!/Remote Control)
Flume – St. Jerome’s Laneway Festival 2016 (Future Classic)
Gang Of Youths – Gang Of Youths National Tour (Mosy Recordings/Sony Music)
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Nonagon Infinity Tour (Flightless Records/Remote Control Records)
RÜFÜS – Bloom Tour (Sweat It Out/Sony Music)
Tame Impala – Australian Tour (Modular/Universal Music)
The Living End – Shift Tour (Dew Process/Universal Music)
Violent Soho – The WACO Tour (I Oh You)
You Am I – Bargain Bin Bon Vivants Tour (The You Am I Set/Inertia)

Song of the Year

WINNER: Troye Sivan – Youth (EMI)
Flume – Never Be Like You (feat. Kai) (Future Classic)
Hilltop Hoods – 1955 (feat. Montaigne & Thom Thum) (Hilltop Hoods/Universal Music)
Illy – Papercuts (feat. Vera Blue) (Warner Music Australia)
Kungs vs. Cookin’ On 3 Burners – This Girl (UNI/UMA)
Keith Urban feat. Carrie Underwood – The Fighter (Capital/EMI)
L D R U – Keeping Score (feat. Paige IV) (Audio Paxx Agency/Sony Music)
Marcus Marr & Chet Faker The Trouble With Us (Detail Records)
Sia – Cheap Thrills (Monkey Puzzle/Inertia)
The Veronicas – In My Blood (Sony Music)

Best Video

WINNER: Troye Sivan – Youth Acoustic (Sydney Session) (EMI)
Courtney Barnett – Elevator Operator (Milk!/Remote Control)
Delta Goodrem – Dear Life (Sony Music)
Flume – Never Be Like You (feat. Kai) (Future Classic)
Guy Sebastian – Black & Blue (Sony Music)
Hilltop Hoods – 1955 (feat. Montaigne & Tom Thum) (Hilltop Hoods/Universal Music)
Illy – Papercuts (feat. Vera Blue) (Warner Music Australia)
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – People-Vultures (Flightless Records/Remote Control Records)
Sia – Cheap Thrills (Monkey Puzzle/Inertia)
Violent Soho – Like Soda (I Oh You)

Best International Artist

WINNER: One Direction – Made in the A.M & Four (SYCO/Sony Music Entertainment)
Adele – 25 (XL/Inertia)
Beyonce – Lemonade (Columbia/Sony Music Entertainment)
Coldplay – A Head Full Of Dreams (PLG/Warner)
Drake – Views & If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late (Universal/Universal Music Australia)
Meghan Trainor – Title & Thank You (Sony Music Entertainment)
Justin Bieber – Purpose (DEF/Universal Music Australia)
Taylor Swift – 1989 (BIG/Universal Music Australia)
twenty one pilots – Blurryface (Atlantic/Warner)
The Weeknd – Beauty Behind The Madness (Universal/Universal Music Australia)

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