We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, butwe don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. At Tone Deaf we only ask the tough questions,so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage.

Drummer Michael Fitzgerald steps up to the plate.

Who gets the most ‘off stage action’ in the band? What’s the secret to their success?

It depends on what you mean by off stage action. If it’s the kissy kind then it’s all pretty even as we all have girlfriends. If it’s the drinky kind then it’s either Sid or our sound guy Neil. They have a way with their bottles. If it’s the fighty kind then it’s probably me with my conscience. It tries to not let me do anything. Stupid conscience.

Have you ever been arrested? Where were you, and what was it for?

No we haven’t but Sid got taken home by the cops when he was about 14 for drinking on the foreshore at the Apollo bay music festival. Ted also got escorted away by the police in China after crowd surfing during our show.

What’s been the worst day job you’ve ever had?

I worked as a labourer for a landscape gardener. I had to push a wheelbarrow through mud all day while it was pouring with rain. It was probably the worst day of my life.

Sex, drugs and groupies – In what order do you prefer them and how often?

I don’t think you can do one without the other. But I don’t do any of that. Mum says I have to wait till I get married for that.

Take us back to the first gig you went to. Where was it and what was the venue?

It was teds 21st at his parents house in the hills of Apollo bay. We played for about 20 minutes and partied for about 20 hours. It was a dress up party where you had to come as something starting with T. Sid came as a Tongan, Ted came as Tigerlily and I came as toilet paper.

What’s your favourite site to download music from and do you ever pay for it? Can we find any of your releases there?

I don’t download mainly because I don’t know how to. My mate downloads stuff form bit torrent or torrent something or other. I don’t really know what it’s called.

What’s the furtherest you’d go to win over a new fan?

China

Right, now that you’ve virtually admitted in public that you’re actually not very cool, here’s your chance to plug your upcoming gigs and releases. – go for it.

We are playing some shows around soon I don’t know when and where but there will be a website somewhere that will tell you.