We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, however we don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. No-one gets out of the Tone Deaf Interrogation lightly, so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage.

Everyone joins or forms a band to get laid. If your band represents your sex life are you Casanova or spending plenty of time doing the five knuckle shuffle?

We have one guy in our band who’s a bit of a Zoolander. Because the good-looks-goods were so kind to him, he has cute girls near his part of the stage and the rest of us have drunk males crushing beer cans on their heads. So our band’s like 5 right hand rumba’s and one Hugh Hefner.

We don’t want to know about the painfully hip bands your press release says you’re influenced by. Take us back to your bedroom when you were 14. What band posters did you have on the wall?

Massive Deftones posters and my brothers hand me down Pearl Jam, Nirvana and Offspring posters. My mum took our CD of Smash bacause she read the lyrics, so we had to get a bootleg tape and share it like covert agents.

What’s been your worst gig and why are you glad there’s no footage of it on Youtube … yet?

We played as a two piece in the beginning and at one show there were as many people on stage as in the crowd. That included the barman and the sound guy. If it was on Youtube it’d just make people depressed.

Tomorrow’s payday, so we’ve only got $20 to get you drunk. Where do we go and what do we buy with it?

We’d go to the Public Bar in North Melbourne and convince Rani (bar manager) we’ll pay her back next week. If that fails we’ve bought a flask as a backup (with the $20) and we spend the last few bucks on a big glass of coke and set up our own little bar in the corner.

We’ve been looking in the $2 bin at Dixons Recycled and also bidding on eBay – what releases are we looking for there that your band has put out?

Maybe our old EP…? Our albums not out yet, so if someone has burnt a copy from my computer and disliked it so much that they traded it already… well fuck…!

Suppose we put a gun to your head and force you to kiss a member of another Australian band. Who, which band and why?

Megan Washington – Washington… She’s pretty smart and would be able to rationalise the situation (having my life threatened etc etc) and would therefore not be too pissed about it I’d hope…