‘Emo Haircuts Are Bad For Your Health’ Says Australian Doctor

The flop-sided fringe style known popularly as the ‘emo cut’ is now a familiar sight, but a recent report suggests it might be ruining the eyesight of the very fashionistas sporting it.

Speaking to Tasmanian paper The Mercury, Andrew Hogan, the director for the Optometrists Association of Tasmania, issued a public warning that the floppy haircuts could lead to amblyopia. A medical condition better known as lazy eye. A condition that can easily be induced by a regularly occurring obstruction to the field of vision, in this case, the thick curtain of hair.

“If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won’t see a lot of detail,” says Hogan. “And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic.” Hogan further cautioning that the youth sporting the swept-fringe look will develop lazy eyes sooner or later.

In conjunction with Hogan’s concerns, a local hairdresser has also spoken about the potential postural problems of the fashionable emo haircut.

“I have to wonder how they don’t get a stiff neck,” remarked Hobart’s Roseanne Anderson. She’s concerned that teenagers tilting their heads to see past their floppy do’s will cause neck strain, a problem she’s already encountered in customers who sat lopsided in the salon she runs, Kingston’s Cyber Hair.

“I have seen lots of fashions come and go,” she continued, “but this is probably the only hairstyle in my forty years of hairdressing that could be a health hazard.” Fans of the haircut will be relieved to know that Anderson’s solution to avoiding neck and eye strain is to use more hair product, or “simply get a better cut.” Meow.

In a fair case of hearing the other side of the argument, The Mercury also spoke to a South Hobart teenager, one Hamish Harrsion, 17, to respond in kind to the health warnings considering his emo barnett. “It’s just a personal choice really,” he responded, claiming he was not concerned about the risks of potential amblyopia or stiff neck.

“My parents would like me to have a haircut but I’m not cutting my hair at all.”