Naked Brisbane Man Finds Paradise At Coldplay Concert, Fined $800

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Naked Brisbane Man Finds Paradise At Coldplay Concert, Fined $800

We all know that Coldplay can have a pretty strong affect on their followers, and an Australian fan did his best to prove this point at the band’s recent visit down under for their Mylo Xyloto tour.

The British superstars played a string of massive stadium shows last month, with our Tone Deaf reviewer labelling the Sydney leg a “successful night of undying spirit and celebration [that] proved they’re worthy of the title of the biggest band in the world.”

One 34-year-old Brisbane fanatic seemed to agree, experiencing an unfortunately-timed rush of blood to the head that led to him stripping naked and assaulting a security guard at the show at Suncorp Stadium, as reports.

His excuse? ‘Coldplay made me do it.’ Well, our reviewer did label the Sydney show “euphoric and boundless.”

Robert John Kiunisala was one of 50,000 adoring fans at the Coldplay show in Brisbane last month, and was so overcome with emotion by the performance that he felt the need to get naked.

Perhaps most surprising is the fact that he was apparently not under the influence of alcohol or illegal substances at the time, but rather “the intoxicant was his extreme feeling for the group,” according to Mr Kiunisala’s lawyer, “it triggered in him some primal response.”

In an unknown point of the show (our bet is during ‘Paradise’), the fan was compelled to strip down to his underwear amongst the sprawling masses, and after spotting the warning sign of a nearby security guard, preceded to remove his undies and give the 50,000-strong crowd an obstructed view of his rear end.

It was around this point that the 34-year-old came to the shocking realisation that “I’m naked in front of thousands of people,” – in the words of his lawyer – and attempted to flee.

“The intoxicant was his extreme feeling for the group… it triggered in him some primal response.”

The Coldplay devotee then discovered that the hardest part of being in your birthday suit amongst thousands of people is avoiding the security guards.

Kiunisala allegedly bit a guard who tried to restrain him for “up to a minute”, and has since appeared in front of the Brisbane Magistrates Court on the charges of unlawful assault, obstructing police, police nuisance, failure to leave a licensed premises, and obstructing a licensee.

Having found himself in a lot of trouble, the man was sentenced to two years probation, with Magistrate Liz Hall labelling the behaviour “out of character” and accepting that Kiunisala’s plea that he was not drunk at the time, taking into account a letter form his girlfriend which called his behaviour “unbelievable and bizarre.”

The Magistrate also (unsurprisingly) advised him to seek help: ”Clearly you need to obtain some knowledge of why you would behave in such a fashion…where a person is seriously assaulted by you,” she said, ordering he pay the security guard $800 in compensation.

The Brisbane show was the last of Coldplay’s huge Australia-wide tour, and it may well have been Chris Martin’s hints of an extended hiatus that led to the odd behaviour.

The frontman stated on stage that: “This is the last big show for three years or so…I don’t want to stop.”

While the rumours of an extended break are still floating about, Martin took the time to play a big show of a different type, making an appearance at the 12/12/12 Hurricane Sandy Benefit at Madison Square Garden last week, playing a short solo set that featured a suprise collaboration with R.E.M’s Michael Stipe.

The pair performed ‘Losing My Religion’, with Martin supplying guitar and backing vocals for the 52-year-old singer taking the lead. The Coldplay frontman joking at its conclusion that Stipe “came out of retirement for that song and now he’s gone right back in!”

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