Worst Haircuts In Music Part 1
We all know that your haircut is very important in rock n’ roll. It can define you as a musician or rock fan in a crowd, it makes you more attractive to the opposite (or even the same) sex and it basically tells the average accountant walking down the street in their grey suit that YOU are so much cooler than them. However, as much as rock star’s haircuts are copied by fans all over the world and marked as the coolest looks in fashion and style, sometimes they get it wrong. Something that was briefly cool for five minutes in 1995 just looks downright embarrassing today. We were digging through the archives down at Tone Deaf HQ the other day and we came across some shockers - hence it’s time to name and shame - we would like to share with you some of the worst haircuts in rock n’ roll.
Robert Smith – The Cure
‘I’ve been looking so long, at these pictures of you…’ Yes Robert – we’ve been looking at pictures of you for over 30 years now and quite frankly it looks like there’s a piece of road kill perched on your head most of the time.
Phil Oakley – The Human League
Ah Phil, Phil, Phil – do we have to go back in time to 1980 to understand why you might have briefly thought that having one side of your hair twice as long as the other was cool?
Phil Collins is the number one exhibit to prove that you don’t necessarily have to be good looking and have a great haircut in music – the guy sported a driveway on his balding pate while ending up as one of the biggest music stars of the 1980s.
Billy Ray Cyrus
If one look at this mullet and the fact that his loins bequeathed the world Miley Cyrus doesn’t make you want to punch him, we’d be very surprised.
Rod Stewart’s mullets are legendary. The fact that this guy went from being a gravedigger to a sexual lothario, shagging supermodels the world over with a haircut like this is just mind boggling.
Luke Steele – The Sleepy Jackson
Luckily he’s a pretty good songwriter, even if his picture is there in the dictionary when you look up the definition of the term eccentric. Steel’s innate ability to make his hair resemble a mop or broom head has belied his success as a songwriter.
Keith’s hair has frequently resembled roadkill collected by bands on the Tarago ride between Melbourne and Sydney. We’re still trying to figure out just why he needed to have sea shells hanging off his hair.
David Bowie has at many times been the ultimate rock god, but geez – the bright red mullets he sported in the early 1970s during his Ziggy Stardust era leave a lot to be desired.
Seriously, what is this dude thinking? It looks like a ball of tangled knitting wool has been poured on his head and held in place with a rubber band.
The mullet is the most consistent offender in the worst haircuts in music category, and MOR crooner Michael Bolton is possibly the biggest offender ever with his mega mullet.
The world was fascinated when Phil Spector was charged with the murder of B-movie actress Lana Clarkson in 2003, but even the seriousness of the charges made the fact that he turned up in court looking like he had had a mixture of an electric shock and a poodle perm unforgettable.
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