It’s tough as an emerging artist to get your music noticed, we know. Our inboxes are flooded with new tunes each and every day, and there are only so many hours in the week to listen to music.
However, for the bands out there who want to get extra creative, there are still a few ways to stand out from the crowd – and we just had a run in with one of the strangest ones yet.
While we generally prefer to find new tunes in our inboxes rather than mingling with the telephone bills in our overcrowded P.O. box, this is an example of an artist just going that extra mile to be heard, and we’ve got to respect that – even if this one was a little on the creepy side.
Yesterday morning, the doorbell rang (as it tends to do when we’re right in the middle of something), and we were greeted by a big, mysterious silver box.
Hm, just a bit larger than the usual CD-sized envelopes we cop each week. Maybe someone shot through a new turntable, or some size 14 Jordans…
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Nope, not quite.
Met with something looking like a Joker trap from a Tim Burton Batman flick, we were immediately filled with dread over its contents. Poison gas? A bomb? Michael Buble’s Christmas album?
Ultimately, curiosity won out over trepidation, so we picked up the dagger and thrust it into the fluffy blackness. Unfortunately, the impressive papier mâché construction proved a little too much for the golden plastic, which was strong enough to pierce the surface before breaking in two.
Tearing into the dark heart with our bare hands, we were suddenly met not with a mess of wires and a ticking clock, but a heap of trinkets – and a hell of a lot of pink.
Packed inside the heart was a stalker’s backpack’s worth of weirdness, from plastic lockets and binoculars, to a set of handcuffs complete with a tiny key. All of these stocking stuffers were just the support acts, however, for the main draw – the personally addressed, hand-written note.
Okay, we’ve had the occasional, erm, ‘dedicated fan’ over the years, but I think this is the first one who’s straight-up admitted to being a stalker – and certainly the first to send us a lipstick print.
Of course, this ‘stalker’ also just happens to have a new record and music video out, and was particularly eager to share them with us, conveniently on both CD and 8GB USB.
Naw, on second thoughts, maybe this isn’t so scary after all. Sure, the prominence of track three ‘CRAZY FOR YOU’ certainly adds a slightly sinister edge, but right now the flattery is beginning to outweigh the fear.
Fair play, Cheeky Velvet – you’ve won us over. Let’s give this one a spin:
Okay, so that was about the least-threatening thing we’ve watched all year, just beneath the clip from earlier today of a puppy chasing around the remote control version of that ball robot from the new Star Wars flick.
Our favourite part of this clap-along ode to laying flat on a park bench covered in purple blotches? “You sucked me like a mango, right to the core, and I hope my friends don’t think I’m a bit of a…”
We’re sure the thought has never crossed their minds.
So, there you have it: our stalker turned out to be a harmless aspiring pop star with a talent for arts and crafts, a penchant for the creepy – and now a write-up on Tone Deaf.
The moral of the story? Any acts out there going to the effort (and considerable expense) of mailing stuff to us, take note – an effort like this is how you score pride of place in the cabinet next to the Violent Soho LPs and underneath the limited edition Jimmy Barnes shortbread.
Thanks Cheeky Velvet, we’re genuinely touched. We think Darryl Kerrigan summed it up best:
